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Marriage Tips

February 9th, 2008


In the last few years a great controversy has waged. This controversy is neither over taxes nor running for office, at least not directly. It is the great marriage controversy and it has spanned the reasons from gay marriage to covenant marriages. Unfortunately sometimes a marriage can find itself in trouble. Financial burdens, children and even in-laws can be the basis of marriage issues. There is even marriage issue that might center around who is responsible for leaving dirty laundry on the floor. This might not seem like much of a transgression but to someone who is obsessive compulsive about neatness, it could be a big issue. Marriage advice is needed in order to save the relationship.


There are hundreds of issues that can arise and finding marriage help is the only answer. The first step is to realize what the real problem is. This comes about through open communication. The most effective technique to have one person speaking at a time with the other remaining silent until the first is done. Interrupting disrupts the thought process and can also lead to another fight. One tip when telling a partner what is wrong is to use phrases beginning with “I”. This approach is less confrontational and the partner is less likely to feel defensive. A simple fact many marriage counselors try to emphasize is that people grow and change. A marriage is not a stagnant body of water. It constantly ebbs and flows according to the environment around it. Job changes, illness and finances can all cause major strains on a couple’s relationship. Too often a husband or wife finds they are unhappy with a situation. One of the underlying reasons is whether or not marriage controversy is a spiritual matter or it is a legal matter. Does a person’s personal feeling on what makes up a legal marriage deserve to be actual law? That depends a lot on someone’s moral beliefs. A marriage controversy was on the subject of Covenant marriages. A covenant marriage is one that makes it more difficult for a couple to attain a divorce decision.


When the couple applies for a marriage license they must decide on how, if ever, they would seek to end their union. The marriage debate regarding Covenant marriage is one that questions whether or not stricter rules would deter many individuals from seeking dissolution of the marriage and whether or not it is an interference of religion into the political realm. Another marriage debate, though less seen in the public eye, is over whether or not a state recognizes the legality of common-law marriages. These are when a couple has resided together for a set number of years, in essence being married but without a formal appellation. This union has a different beginning but has to be ended, if the state recognizes and has legislation governing, the same way other marriages must. Regardless of what the problems are or what marriage issues arise, there can be solutions and hope for repairing the damage. The crucial thing to remember is that everyone makes mistakes and everyone will hurt someone at sometime in their lives. It is how these things are atoned for that make the difference in the quality of the relationship. The “I Do’s” do not have to end in “I Don’t”. There is always a chance to begin to repair things and make the marriage stronger, it just takes work and perseverance to over come it.

7 Tips to Improving Your Relationships

July 15th, 2007

Does it seem like there is magic that makes some relationships last longer than others? Maybe. It seems like some people just sit back and sulk, while others seem to let life go by right over their heads and problems? Maybe it’s just that some people learn secrets of success from their grandparents or other relatives or friends. Since the latter is probably more accurate, here are some tried and true tips from people who have enjoyed long, happy relationships.

1. FUN Couple tend to have fun on dates, then get married and too serious. Lighten up. Head to Yahoo Games (off Yahoo.com main site) and join in any number of card or other games. Or head to a local rental shop and rent an Xbox or other game player and some games.

2. DISAGREE Agree that it’s okay to disagree on some issues, and leave it at that. No need to create a new religion or political movement just to appease both of you. You don’t HAVE to agree on everything. And you won’t. And that’s okay.

3. FORGET No need to “always” remember the bad things that happened during an argument. Actively “forget” sometimes. Be the first to apologize and make up. Go for it!

4. DATES Keep dating each other. Even if life seems too busy, meet at the end of the evening for something light and easy, like viewing your favorite sitcom (record it if necessary) together or playing a game of Euchre.

To read the rest of the article, 7 Tips of Improving Your Relationshiops

7 Tips to Improving Your Relationships

July 15th, 2007

Does it seem like there is magic that makes some relationships last longer than others? Maybe. It seems like some people just sit back and sulk, while others seem to let life go by right over their heads and problems? Maybe it’s just that some people learn secrets of success from their grandparents or other relatives or friends. Since the latter is probably more accurate, here are some tried and true tips from people who have enjoyed long, happy relationships.

1. FUN Couple tend to have fun on dates, then get married and too serious. Lighten up. Head to Yahoo Games (off Yahoo.com main site) and join in any number of card or other games. Or head to a local rental shop and rent an Xbox or other game player and some games.

2. DISAGREE Agree that it’s okay to disagree on some issues, and leave it at that. No need to create a new religion or political movement just to appease both of you. You don’t HAVE to agree on everything. And you won’t. And that’s okay.

3. FORGET No need to “always” remember the bad things that happened during an argument. Actively “forget” sometimes. Be the first to apologize and make up. Go for it!

4. DATES Keep dating each other. Even if life seems too busy, meet at the end of the evening for something light and easy, like viewing your favorite sitcom (record it if necessary) together or playing a game of Euchre.

To read the rest of the article, 7 Tips of Improving Your Relationshiops

7 Tips for Fighting Fairly in Marriage

July 15th, 2007

Fighting fairly is one of the most important skills you can learn in order to keep your marriage healthy and strong. While it may first seem that fighting only happens in “bad” marriages, fighting actually happens in all marriages.

Researcher David Olson of the University of Minnesota estimates that 25% of marriages are happy. 50% of couples will never be happy without very good therapy. 30% of marriages are considered “empty”, with little love or joy. 25% of marriages could be really happy if the couples learned better how to communicate and how to resolve conflict.

It is this latter 25% that should be focused on. Learning to fight fair can be the difference between a bad fight/bad marriage and a bad fight/good marriage. You can have a bad fight but still have an overall good marriage. In fact, couples who fight productively report more marital satisfaction once the fight has ended.

What separates out the couples who fight and make up from the ones who don’t? In two words: fighting fairly.

Couples who fight fairly demonstrate several subtle, but crucial traits, that keep them from becoming overly angry and hostile. What are the traits which separate couples who fight fairly from those who don’t?

1) couples who fight fairly focus on the behavior, not the person. “Honey, can you please put your dishes in the sink?” rather than, “You’re so lazy. Why can’t you put your dishes in the sink?”

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Romantic Treats for A Man

July 11th, 2007

Men are constantly bombarded with suggestions of gifts for their partner like buying them chocolate or flowers or any number of items, but what is a nice treat to give a man to surprise him and show him you care?

Here are several ideas:

1. A man can be turned on by a woman wearing his favorite teams’ sweatshirt or team jersey. Surprise him after work one day!

2. Make a surprise dinner with one of his favorite meals.

3. A weekend trip to a bed and breakfast can be a nice getaway.

4. Buy tickets to a sports event that you know he’d love and put them next to his morning coffee cup.

5. Is there a DVD he’s been mentioning lately? Rent it and make some brownies or fun evening snack.

Spontaneity is good to incorporate into a relationship and men enjoy surprise displays of care as often as women. If he’s experiencing pressure at work, a nice poem about how you appreciate him at home can be a real confidence booster.

What Are The Differences Between Men & Women’s Insecurities?

July 11th, 2007

In most cases, men typically assume that once a women is content
with the relationship, she will and should stay that way. He thinks
once he has proven his love for her, then she should know it forever.
She should feel secure with him, regardless of what happens, without
ever needing to be reassured or reminded that he loves her. This view
is different from how women really thinks but from the male point of
view, this attitude makes perfect sense.

This is when trouble sets in because women find this attitude
absolutely unacceptable as it is inconsistent with the way they think.
Like all people who want to be and feel loved, a woman need to be
reassured that she is special, that she is worthy, understandable, and
of course lovable. This is no different for men as they also need to be
reassured, but they get encouragement mainly through their work. Women,
however, primarily need reassurance through the relationships they are
in.

To complete the article, What Are The Differences Between Men

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